F!

I will not hide to everyone that I failed the board. Maybe it was not the best time for me nor the title is not for me. Still thorn between letting go and acceptance.

It is really hard for me to accept, until now, the pain is there. I can't hide it. I tried to pretend that I am okay but its hard. Even sarili ko, niloloko ko na. I lose my confidence, my confidence, everything!

I don't understand why people are being mean to me just to push me to move on. I don't get it! People cannot understand what I am going through, they don't know how painful it is to me. If you can't handle me, then just respect it. They don't want me to be weak, to cry over and over but how can I release all the pain if even myself, I will fake every emotion that I will portray yo other people. I tried to be strong, I tried not to cry but its really heavy, its cracking my head and brain.

The pain will not go away as easy as that juat like what people are expecting from me, that once you wake up, its done! Just move on, I hope its easy! I hope it was just like that pero hindi e. I need time! Time can heal everything. I am covered with all the pain now. The pain that will lead me to crazy state of mind.

Pain is in me. The pain that I don't want to feel. The pain that will bringing me to the idea that I want to be numb.

Hardwork, Faith and Perseverance

From the different phrases that can describe how tough the last two semesters in our College life was, to the different faces of mine.

Our last 2 semesters were very hard and tough. A battle that we can't really imagine how can we pass it, and finally mission accomplished.

Our university library. Break time, vacant day, rest day - where BS Accountancy students spend their time most of the time. As an evidence, most of the librarian knew about us.

Yours truly, Mega and Roseanne (L-R) A day before Auditing Problem Midterm Examinations. Mega was already tired because we started from 12AM-11PM.

I tried to explain to my friend how the problem was solved. But I think, I am not an effective tutor that's why, I don't want to be in the academe area.

I am struggling to Tax that's why even I am really tired, I keep on solving and memorizing. I want to be a lawyer but Tax doesn't love me, huhuhu :(

Aud Probs forever.....

First!

     This is what I am telling about, though you keep on telling that you already accepted what may be the result is, there are still differences once you are already in that position. You can only say, 'okay', 'I should still be thankful' but sometimes, the hurt is there, you cannot take the pain away in just a simple glimpse.

     Actually, I am expecting this but not to the point that as in, WHAAAAAAAAT? Seriously, I am not prepared for that. First of all, I don't know how and what to tell to my parents, it would be a big  disappointment for them. They are not prepared for this! Though, I tried to talk to them, what if  like this, like that, but you know what they answered, 'No, No, No!' so how??? Spare me guys! I think, this post is likea mess, I messed up!

    At the moment, I am wishing that i hope, this pain would just stay for a while. I am trying, I will get there! This is the first time that I failed! Yet, not prepared. And last thing, this is my first time that i wish that please, i don't wanna wake up anymore!

Please spare me.

Down to Up

These past few days, I feel so disoriented. I mean, my goal, my motivation, everything turned down after our Prac1 (Financial Accounting Practical) Prelim Examination. It was a 3-hour exam but they extended it into 4-hour exam. You're shock? 'Coz it's too long, right?? Yea, it was a good opportunity to finish the exam, unfortunately, after two hours, I got tired, my brain stop thinking, its not functioning, even my hands cannot jive into what I want to do. In short, I stopped answering, another reason also was, my migraine attacked while I am having our exam. 

But what me sad even more? The feeling that I should not give up. First of all, its not on my list this semester to give up, sometimes, I maybe lazy but I never give up, on that moment, I didn't know what really happened, am also confused.

If you are an Accountancy student, you should possess the "never give up" attitude.

After more than a week, still I am trying to cope up, trying to forget it, though I know the fact that I never pass it when half of the time, I just made a guess. That's truly a miracle if ever that I can still get 75 huh, even 60. It was hard to move on especially when you studied that particular subject for more than a week but I am struggling, I don't know why I can't answer those problems. The important thing now is, I am still trying to be positive. It was just prelim, 25% of my grade, there are still 75% remaining. i am ready to fight again, and this time, I will do everything to pass all the subjects. I can do this!