Love Fools.

I’ve cried once but it happens again with the same man.

This time, it is a little bit complicated. We were in a relationship when we were high school, way back year 2008, now we’re in college and he tried so many times to court me. I pushed him away many times, ‘coz the truth is, it took me a very long time before I finally move on. Last Feb, I’ve decided to accept him again, not for a reason than I only force myself just to have boyfriend but for the unexpected events, it didn’t work.

Almost all the time he texted me, he always asked about the girl which happens to be my friend, one of my closest friend. For that, I feel so angry, why he needed to text me for that, why he didn’t text the girl, right?? When I confronted him, he told me that he only makes me jealous. The F! Then, pinalipas ko muna. We don’t have consistent communication, ‘coz we know that we were both busy. One time, he asked me on a date I guess, I also asked for my mum’s permission but because of his thesis, it didn’t happen then I found out that, that date would be, we were with the girl. I also heard that they were exchanging texts and even calls more usual than mine. Again, nagpakabulag ako.

Then last May, someone give me a hint about the two going out. I opened the tumblr account of the girl, I was so shocked. She didn’t mention the name of the guy but the description pointed to only one and yes, they dated. For them maybe, it was just only a friendly date but the way I see it, it was not. They watched Iron Man, ate at Tokyo Tokyo and he gave ferrero for the girl, and she gave two pieces to me without any idea that it was from my Ex-boyfriend and current suitor, if I didn’t opened her account, hindi ko pa malalaman.

I let him go, I didn’t opened this to the girl that I already knew though she knew about the courtship thing between me and the guy. Yes, I admitted, I pushed the guy saying that I am inlove with other guy but it was just to hide that I am hurt between him and my friend, I only used my guy to show that I am okay, that I am fine when he will make his decision to leave me.

If there would be the most stupid girl, that would be me! I told to my friends that I avoided his text and yet, I lied to them.

Recently, the guy texted me asking for my help. He wants to know why the girl avoiding him. She’s not answering his texts and calls. Then I texted the girl, yea I know, I am so stupid. She replied me and it sounds negative and there is something that comes in my mind that I am involved to this issue. Don’t have the plan to text the guy what my friend replied me because I don’t him to be hurt. Eventually, kakakulit ng guy, I quoted the text of the girl. And he told me that he loves her, he cannot accept if this girl would leave him. She is his saviour and he really loves her. She’s the only girl that can understand him. It hurts me, why? ‘Coz pinamukha niya sakin that’s I was the one who pushed him for that girl, all I did was to hurt him. It’s the time to move on and he asked me my help to win her back.

I already texted the girl that I know everything about her tumblr, their date and she apologized to me and told me that she likes him but not up to the point that she can love him back.

I am not on the position to be a hindrance with their relationship, they have their own decisions. I am here to accept and respect whatever they want. In time, everything will be okay. It was just a part of growing up and our past.

Tho, I pushed him many times. It would never be right to use that reason why you are now inlove with my friend. I can accept the fact that he may now love with my friend if he didn’t asked me to accept him again and if from the start, my friend and the guy told me everything, they told me that they were going out for a “date”. I asked the guy many times, it was just a friend but now, how can you explain that now your inlove with her.

May mga kasalanan ako at pagkukulang sa mga minamahal kong tao, may mga bagay na hindi ko maibigay na binibigay ng iba sayo, but don’t use it to me as reasons why you need to find another girl dahil ikaw din. Nasaktan na naman ako dahil minahal ko ung guy and I trust the girl. This situation,I will not put all the blame to them 

‘coz I myself also did things that will hurt me.

I am the one who push the guy many times and now, it’s time for him to be happy.

Hindi po kasakiman ang magparaya at magmahal.