You May Now Rest

1:15 AM, Tuesday, when my clock stop, my heart beats faster, my mind cannot absorb things and my body cannot move and embraces with coldness. In short, my world stops.

I was about to sleep when my brother told me the sad news, “Ate patay na si Kuya Rangie?,” he showed me those posts confirming that my Nasnip is gone. He passed away exactly 4:20 PM, Monday, on their way home to Asingan. He was about to go home even he was in Coma, to feel that he was already home but on his way, he gave up.

Sometimes, life is unfair. When you’re not yet ready, that’s the time that it will happen.

My reaction was, “What? Why?” I can’t move where I am standing, I feel cold and shaking.  

 I’ll be missing those times that we’re going to plaza, teasing me because I am not that brave enough to ride Octopus or Ferris Wheel, when we were spending time at Country Side Resort, in front of the Store of Mommy Jing, singing and teasing each other. Nasnip, I am still waiting for your call, I’m sick, call I’m angry. That’s your favourite song, right? Yea, I am still listening to your voice. Do you still remember that your pairing us to Witwit?? Hindi ka maarte, sadyang napakakalog! Napakakulit at ung mga jokes mong waley! Hahaha. 

I really have an idea what’s going on, that he underwent in an operation last year in Saudi and he had been comatose for more than a month I think, I should still be thankful because he had given a chance to go home, we had our chance to bond, share thoughts, smiles, joy and stories. I thought, he was totally fine, I don’t know that his sickness (Meningitis) is not that simple. My friend and nasnip, you fought so hard for your second life, its really hard to accept that you’re gone now, you’re at peace, you’re with Him. Wala ka ng dapat ikabahala, na nahihiya ka, kasi namromroblema sila Mama mo kung san kukuha ng panggamot mo, utang na loob ng mga taong tumulong sayo, it’s about time to relax. Just guide us please, give us strength para malagpasan namin to.

You will realize how important he is, when he’s already gone.

 Its our third day of grieving Nasnip. I was scanning my phone when i realized, you called last month and I am really busy so we didn't have much time to talk. Then early September, you texted me saying "Nasnip, musta? sobrang busy ka ata. Pag may time ka, dalaw ka dito Laguna, dami ng rambutan at lansones." Nasnip, di ko alam na un na ung mga lasts. :(