Getting There

There's nothing to hide about that until now, its really hard for me to accept that my friend is now gone. I became on a realization that almost all of our last conversation - thru texts, call and even FB messaging, in the end I didn't gave him so much time to answer all his messages. That's one thing that I should be regret of. And all of those times, I was really busy. I am busy studying, looking for OJT and I was eating. If I could turn back time but I don't have the capability to do it. Please forgive me Nasnip. :(

Here's my playlist that is really helping me to feel relax and believing that in time, I can feel better.

Season's of Love - Glee Cover (Quarterback)

If I Die Young - Glee Cover (Quarterback)

Gone too Soon - Simple Plan

Let it Go - Demi Lovato

Salamat - The Dawn

And some of his favorite songs/Bands:

Your Call - Secondhand Serenade

Goodbye - Secondhand Serenade

Will You Ever Learn - Type Cast

Last Time - Type Cast

Hanggang sa muling tugtugan kaibigan! Rock in heaven! 

You May Now Rest

1:15 AM, Tuesday, when my clock stop, my heart beats faster, my mind cannot absorb things and my body cannot move and embraces with coldness. In short, my world stops.

I was about to sleep when my brother told me the sad news, “Ate patay na si Kuya Rangie?,” he showed me those posts confirming that my Nasnip is gone. He passed away exactly 4:20 PM, Monday, on their way home to Asingan. He was about to go home even he was in Coma, to feel that he was already home but on his way, he gave up.

Sometimes, life is unfair. When you’re not yet ready, that’s the time that it will happen.

My reaction was, “What? Why?” I can’t move where I am standing, I feel cold and shaking.  

 I’ll be missing those times that we’re going to plaza, teasing me because I am not that brave enough to ride Octopus or Ferris Wheel, when we were spending time at Country Side Resort, in front of the Store of Mommy Jing, singing and teasing each other. Nasnip, I am still waiting for your call, I’m sick, call I’m angry. That’s your favourite song, right? Yea, I am still listening to your voice. Do you still remember that your pairing us to Witwit?? Hindi ka maarte, sadyang napakakalog! Napakakulit at ung mga jokes mong waley! Hahaha. 

I really have an idea what’s going on, that he underwent in an operation last year in Saudi and he had been comatose for more than a month I think, I should still be thankful because he had given a chance to go home, we had our chance to bond, share thoughts, smiles, joy and stories. I thought, he was totally fine, I don’t know that his sickness (Meningitis) is not that simple. My friend and nasnip, you fought so hard for your second life, its really hard to accept that you’re gone now, you’re at peace, you’re with Him. Wala ka ng dapat ikabahala, na nahihiya ka, kasi namromroblema sila Mama mo kung san kukuha ng panggamot mo, utang na loob ng mga taong tumulong sayo, it’s about time to relax. Just guide us please, give us strength para malagpasan namin to.

You will realize how important he is, when he’s already gone.

 Its our third day of grieving Nasnip. I was scanning my phone when i realized, you called last month and I am really busy so we didn't have much time to talk. Then early September, you texted me saying "Nasnip, musta? sobrang busy ka ata. Pag may time ka, dalaw ka dito Laguna, dami ng rambutan at lansones." Nasnip, di ko alam na un na ung mga lasts. :(

Superb Break

This semestral break is one of the most exciting, unforgettable vacation so far. Here's the reason why:

1. Night outs

This time, I know what the feeling of spending nights at Urdaneta City is. Those 3 nights were all unexpected and unforgettable. The first night was I'm with Aladdin and Joan (my elementary friends) thru motorbike. Yea, we were too brave para pumunta ng City at the middle of the night.

The second one, I am with the two buddies. Kuya Arvin (my Guitar and Photography tutor) and my new friend, Joel (our new and young kagawad) and also Joan again (Sinama namin sya para may girl at payagan ako), we had our whole body massage. That was my first time and almost the whole time, all I did was to scream dahil nakikiliti ako. So funny! Right?

Last, connected to the next reasons

2. Joy Ride

After Bistro, where we had our 2 bucket drinks, I assumed that we are really going home but what I didn't expect was, Charmaine decided to give 400 just for the gasoline and we will go to San Fabian beach at the middle of the night? So what do you think of it? Another 'rebellious and wild' thing!!!! That was totally crazy! 5 girls and 1 boy (I, Charmaine, Alona, Joan, Japan and Tigor)

3. Coffee Break

Finally, I experienced the taste of Silver Spoon Cafe located at Urdaneta City. We just had drinks and unending sharing of stories with Joan and Aladdin. Joan was trying to build up again my relationship with Aladdin, but I'm sorry girl, wala ng maibabalik. We were done!

4. Brgy. Election/Reunion

It was a Brgy. Election, but we took advantage of it to have our reunion inside our former school. Usual thing, we gathered our elementary classmates and talk and talk and talk! We also had our Truth or Dare game lead by Aladdin ( He's not our classmate, nakikisali lang, just kidding!) And, again, they asked me who my first kiss is, it took a while before I can answer 'coz I can't really remember.

Note: Sorry, I can't provide pictures because the phone that we used was lost. 

BIG X!

My emotions are really intense atm. Please bear with me if ever that I can write some inappropriate words and I will express myself in Tagalog/Filipino.

Its all about Lovelife again, (with crossline talaga, 'coz I really hate talking about it but I need to right now, I need someone to talk to)

So here's the story, I really can't move  on from my Ex and we had our relationship almost 5 years ago. This is what you call stupidity!! I always tell to him that I moved on, I am in love with another man, I am ready for a new relationship but all of those was a lie, I always pushing him away but now, there's a part of me blaming myself, why I keep myself doing that if until now, I still love him.

Yes, I accepted some suitors but none of them can replace him (I am really sorry for Mr. B and Mr.J, ayoko din kasi kayong paasahin, I don't want to use others just to forget him), I can't explain what he have that others don't. Maybe because I really took our relationship seriously, he was the only one that I introduced to my family and I am opened to talk about him most of the time. Please, I wanna forget him for quite some time but my heart and mind are not yet ready for this.

Now that  I am ready to be with him again, its also the time that he's ready to let go of me and maybe to find another woman. I can understand that he's also get tired of waiting but its hard for me to understand that why now?? Kung sana noon pa lang sumuko ka na at lumayo na nung pinapalayo kita, ginawa mo na, hindi na sana ganito kasakit.  I just wish him luck. I am happy whatever decision that he will make in the future.

'Til we meet again my best friend, partner and my lover.